Thursday, January 29, 2004

I had Italian Dunkers for lunch today!

"There's six and a half billion people in the world. That mean's three and a quarter of them are women. One is not that important." -Frank Serrapere

  Wednesday, January 28, 2004

High school kids are very stereotypical, and generally fall into a select number of groups with each class having their advantages and disadvantages. I was sitting in the back of class today looking at all the students; I was doing that thing where you squint and squeeze their heads in between your fingers, and I started to realize that my fingers kind of represent all the different types of people there are.

There's the pointer finger, the unofficial leader of the digits. He's always telling everyone else where to go, but really all the others are thinking, "Where does he get off?" Normally he's right, but his take-charge attitude normally means that he's getting most of the papercuts.

The middle finger is the prick of the group obviously, but he's also the most looked up to. He's the straight-talking SOB that makes everyone think about how honest they are themselves. There are the few occasions where the point gets driven a little too deep though, and he ends up pissing everyone off.

The thumb is similar to the middle finger, but he's really a bastard and nobody likes him. He is the bully of the group. No one would ever talk to him or hang out with him if they didn't have to, but he's got the advantage because he's opposable, and he knows that the rest need him. He's always pushing the others around and being an ass, but he's useful in many situations.

Then you have the ring finger, he's the flaky one and everyone's always try to figure out which way he swings. He's always worried about how he looks; he'll talk about how well he gets along with other rings fingers and the boys will be like, "Oh, is that like your thing?" He never really does anything either, not unless everyone else is doing it.

Last is the pinky, and last for a reason. He's the small little twit that everyone makes fun of; probably plays French Horn for the band, and can't ever seem to march in the same line as everyone else. He's always paranoid about getting into things: all the other fingers will be drinking a cup tea and he'll be all, "No way, I ain't getting into that, my mom will flip." Ultimately, it's good to have him around though because it gives the other fingers something to laugh at.

I like to think of myself as an individual, but I probably fell somewhere between pointer and middle finger, the piddle finger as i like to call it. Is that an accurate depiction of myself? Where do you think you relate or what other body parts can you relate to?

  Sunday, January 25, 2004

This is for my good old friend Steve, who is getting his masters degree in Electrical Engineering at Penn State and looking into more graduate school:

CapNSteve53: laurens meta tags are funny
CapNSteve53: i'm a huge dork for saying that

The poor guy has immersed himself in technical humor; a world that Rose-Hulman students know all too well. It's gotten so severe that I've begun to make fun of him:

TBWTO99: you are such a nerd

---

Auto response from CapNSteve53: CompactFlash is awesome. I just erased the boot sector and wasted a 512 MB card.

---

He's still the coolest guy I know though.

My brother pointed out this Earthweek thing to me. It's also published in the Sunday newspaper and contains current Earth related happenings. It seems that one of them is always some bizarre humorous mishap like this weeks from India:

Alcohol-related fatalities
A group of four wild elephants that ran amok after becoming intoxicated on bootleg rice beer in northeastern India's Meghalaya state were electrocuted when they brought down high-voltage power lines during a drunken rampage.

There's more to it, but that's the funny stuff. These elephants basically stormed a town and drank from some open casks, then started knocking stuff down when they were tipsy and ended up killing themselves. Crazy pachyderms.

  Friday, January 23, 2004

I would like to introduce everyone to Lauren's blog. I'm hosting it because I really wanted to be able to tell her story, and because I can edit it for her very easily. This blog chronicles her trip to Lesotho in Africa. She's working on her graduate degree by assisting with the AIDS epidemic there. More importantly, this has been her dream since I met her in ninth grade. The realism of being able to live out your dreams is something I would like to convey to the world.

We are bumping up to a red security level. Recent intelligence reports indicate that the skank level is at an all time high. Early indications are that the skanks are of a new variety: teenagers.

I've been frequenting my old high school for the past three days and probably will through all of next week. My old physics teacher, Mr. Serrapere, has been letting me teach a few of his classes. There are two things that come to mind while walking around these nostalgic halls. The first one obviously, is that girls now are total sluts. Not all of them, specifically not the ones in the honors classes that I am teaching, but in home room I can smell and see horniness.

I guess I should mention why I am here in the first place. I was getting fed up with sitting around my sister's house all day, it was too comfortable. I only know about four teachers that are still here, but it's enough that they let me sit in on their classes and use the library. I've been splitting my time up between Honors Physics, Crazy Ray Edelman's Social Studies, and Doc's AP Chemistry. I teach a little bit, but sometimes I just like to sit and listen to the lectures and help kids solve problems. Mrs. Graham, the librarian, has been helping me find work when I'm not in class. She's been talking to her husband for me, who is himself an engineer, and has helped me find some leads. I'll also check the ads and browse the internet. There are surprisingly few distractions so I've made a lot of progress. I'm getting a fairly organized job search going, which I am close to taking into another gear.

The second thing about high school is that I am amazingly older then the rest of these kids. I'm beyond the age where it's cool to visit your old teachers. They make me walk around with this visitors' tag slapped on my chest, which might as well be a 'kick me' sign for all the coolness it brings me. I've been trying to tell them good stories about their teachers and stuff, but they are reluctant to communicate with me because I'm effectively an authority figure: freakin' adulthood!

My first girlfriend's little brother is taking AP Chem right now, which really illustrates how old I am. I used to play stratego with this kid when he was barely four feet tall, he's now a staggering 6'2". Little does Sean Peace know, that this afternoon he will be presented with my highly-regarded Social Studies notebook, and will follow in the footsteps of his sisters Anne and Meghann before him, as well as the two Nigro children. I had officially retired the notebook a year and a half ago, but figure it is too important to maintain the Peace family tradition of enjoying my Constitutional Convention Top Ten Lists.

Right now it's lunch time, which of course I don't attend since I can't eat with students and eating with teachers intimidates me. Today was a two hour delay, which we all know is the holy grail of school closings. As expected, being busy has caused me to be more busy. I've found myself always working on something, even if it's at home. It's a good feeling really. If all things go well then maybe soon I will get that feeling from my career instead of from the volunteer work I do with my alma mater.

  Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Alright, I believe I officially have too much time on my hands.


I need to find something to do with my life, cause wasting my time on this picture was the last straw.

My sister gets Starz, Cinemax, and HBO; since she also gets digital cable, that equates to about twenty-five movie channels. It's quite nice, but becomes a tremendous waste of time. They even have this feature now where you can watch any of the movies that have been on the premium channels any time you want for free. It's like free pay-per-view, only a couple months later.

This isn't noteworthy though, what is cool, is reading the interesting movie descriptions that are written. I don't know who writes these things, but my brother Reed and I have been making fun of them since I came back from school in May. These descriptions are often very subjective, almost too much. They say things like, "Uninspired acting mires this heart-warming attempt." I was just looking through them to put one in here. This is describing the movie Enigma:

A British cryptologist (Dougray Scott) tries to crack the Germans' secret code in order to save an American convoy during WWII. Intelligent, but dry attempt at Hitchcockian intrigue.

This one is pretty tame, they verge on insulting actors and filmmakers. Lately though, the trend has changed. It was hard to find that one I just quoted, they are becoming less objective and more intellectual. I've seen words that I've never seen before lately: milquetoast, Cockney, cardsharp, purportedly. I'm sure all you guys know what these mean, but I had to look them up on dictionary.com. It's kind of cool though, expanding my vocabulary while wasting away. If they had things like this while I was in school, I might have done better on the verbal portion of my SAT.

  Monday, January 19, 2004

My mom only drinks distilled water, and she found a place that sells it for $0.69 a gallon. Every couple weeks she'll bug somebody to stock up for her, which requires asking a store manager to get these six gallon boxes out of storage. The most dreaded part of this for me, is asking the inept and unwilling to help store managers to get these boxes out of the back and drag them up front. This past week they were on sale for only 33 cents so my mom wants me to get as much as I can.

I reluctantly go to the grocery store where I discover that since they are on sale they have a display in the middle of the isle right near the front of the store, that is just stacks of these boxes. With my reluctance dissolved I load up on 37 gallons of distilled water, and then a brilliant idea dawns upon me.

To those of you who have heard me on the phone with her, or have listened to some of my stories, I believe that my mom is a basket case. I love her to death though, and learning to effectively handle her behavior will be my last introspective endeavor. That means that I will never learn to deal with her, but on this day there was a glimmer of hope.

37 gallons equates to six boxes plus one jug. I could probably fit about eight boxes in my car. My mom was going to be leaving home for a few hours, which rarely occurs, and I would have the opportunity to make the four or five trips necessary to buy all the distilled water that this store contains. It's effectively a prank on my mother: in the short run she'll blow a gasket cause her living room is stacked ceiling high with water, but in the long run she'll be happy because she has a year supply of water that didn't cost that much.

It's a haul though, and I could use help; filling my mom's house with a ridiculous amount of water jugs is at least a two man process. In years past I would have had a line of people ready to help out, but as the situation evolved, the one friend I had at my disposal felt that he had more important things to do. Maybe this just describes the difference between college friends and home friends, maybe it's a display of adult friends vs. college-aged friends. I don't know, but the next day there were only sixty-two gallons of water at my mother's which surprisingly stacks fairly neat and takes up little space, and really isn't as interesting of a story.

  Saturday, January 17, 2004

Congratulations Olde and Adrian, I hope your new marriage is filled with leftover food and a couch for me to occasionally stay on.

  Friday, January 16, 2004

These black and white M&M's are freaky, it's like eating an episode of the twilight zone.

Classic Rory poked up his head today. Alluded to here, classic Rory is the embodiment of all the insecurities that used to define my character. While it's true that I've been through many evolutions, I like to believe that the modern Rory is a little more wise and a little more confident, thereby making me puzzled as to why I would feel insecure.

But I choose not to dwell on this. In a true display of modern roriness I have used this as an opportunity to learn and gain more wisdom. So I speak of the three lessons I learned following my lapse. I speak of them in generalities because I believe they are more universal then most of my observations, and it sounds less introspective.

1) If there is a problem, and part of the problem is that you are talking, then SHUT UP! If the only other part of the problem is your inability to make a decision, then just make some decision without giving another flying flip to the results.

2) If you are getting the mail when it's dark and there's snow, by all means don't drop the mail. It's really hard to see.

3) Deadlines are a form of pressure, and anytime pressure is applied it forces out things that wouldn't present themselves under standard conditions. Being cool, calm, or collected involves not allowing pressure to dominate your life and decisions.

I also just thought of a cool joke, which has nothing to do with any of the previous stuff I just said: I'm going to be a better person one day, even if I have to lie and cheat to get there.

  Tuesday, January 13, 2004

I got a piece of dental floss stuck in between my teeth???

  Sunday, January 11, 2004

Maybe this is just the man in me talking, but I think it would be good if I could date two girls at the same time. Not forever, just during that first part of dating where you aren't really sure if the other person completely likes you. I guess I get paranoid that a girl doesn't like me if I haven't talked with them in a couple days. I think I get this from my first girlfriend: towards the end of the relationship we really didn't like each other, so we didn't talk very frequently. Regardless, I would think having another girl there to receive attention from wouldn't afford me the opportunity to think about how either of them probably don't like me anymore.

I actually came up with this idea while taking my twelve year old niece out to eat. I told her this, as I have been telling her many of the recent events of the womanly kind. She had two fairly wise responses for me. First she said that's a horrible idea, then commented that I'm stupid if I think a girl doesn't like me. Way to go to the niece for telling it like it is, being stern and direct, while even slipping in a compliment.

I'm not even really capable of dating two girls at once, by choice and by ability, but I believe I have added insight into the common male strategy of 'options.'

  Tuesday, January 06, 2004

I believe my current mood can best be described by the theme song to the hit television sitcom, Living Single:

Oh in a ninety's kind of world,
I'm glad I've got my girls.

As true today as it was when it was written.

What the hell am I talking about? Damn, I'm so confused right now.

  Monday, January 05, 2004

Most of the world doesn't care what Steve Irwin does with his kid, or at least I don't. I'm starting to notice that this is one instance of a common trend of people blaming and criticizing others. A world in which everyone is at fault for everything else is not a world I want to live in. Worst thing is this bullshit, along with this Britney Spears crap, is consuming my local news; I've got flooding and a bankrupt city and a crappy hockey team that is much more important for me to know about.

  Saturday, January 03, 2004

Operation Rescue Willby was a success. After getting a call from his frantic girlfriend at 2:30 AM, I quickly made the decision to head down to the location he was last spotted. Turns out he left a bar in at approximately a quarter after one and nobody had seen him since. He is also the only individual left on the planet that still doesn't have a cell phone. To be honest, I'm not sure if I was really scared, or if I just wanted an adventure, it was probably a little of both.

Those in his company had been searching for the last couple hours and the police had already been notified. Some back alleys had been searched as well as some landmarks. When I arrived I began searching the parkway to see if he had started walking home. I eventually ended up at a hospital inquiring about any recently admitted unidentified people; I'll leave out the long story about bureaucracy at the hospital. After leaving the medical facility we received notification of his discovery on the other side of the Squirrel Hill Tunnel. We journeyed there where he was exchanged from his girlfriends car to my car, and we proceeded home.

The exchange took place so that he could avoid dealing with the worked up significant other. She was obviously upset when it was discovered that he left because he was mad, and it didn't help that he only called her after he tried a few other friends first. Turns out the man traveled what I just estimated to be about nine miles. Went to the Pitt campus where he visited a few friends and then walked back to the tunnel where some of the service men allowed him to use his phone. In a few weeks Willby begins working for PennDOT; imagine this drunk guy walking up to a tunnel, ringing the doorbell, and then after being permitted to use their phone, tells them that he will be their boss soon. All of this and I'm leaving out the best part, when the man who picked him up when he tried hitchhiking offered him a blowjob. Thankfully, it wasn't accepted.

  Thursday, January 01, 2004

It's amazing how the oddest interactions can make you realize and understand some of the most complex things. I don't want to go into specifics, but I just want to point out this observation. I've been focusing on the idea of being more extrospective, whatever the definition of that word may be. I never really understood the magnitude of what all that entailed.

I once told myself that I would try to listen to the thoughts behind the words, which is a very difficult thing. I haven't done it that well, but I picked one moment of one conversation to really listen, and I heard so many things that worn't being said. I learned so much about a person that I had known for a while, and I understood her on a level I had never before gone to. Wierd thing is that it wasn't good things that I was realizing, it was scary, but it was so intriguing; I want more. I'm sure there's good stuff out there too, and I'm gonna find it.

I can't believe that it wasn't that long ago that me and my now mute (but still very active) creative conscious had a heart to heart about life and the world and our place in it; living life the way we have reasoned to live it. Ain't that right old pal?

...

Amen! I enjoyed a very excellent New Year's with the Nigro family. We cooked and watched movies and visited other family. I learned and shall remember from now on, that no matter how they are sliced parents are parents. I am very comfortable around the Nigro's, as I've mentioned before. Although, I have many friends' families that have and do treat me like a son, I truly feel a part of the family when I'm there. But no matter what, parents are mature, they don't like watching movies like Duece Bigalow. In fact, trying to watch such a movie with them is not only embarrassing, it's demeaning because the parents try to figure out why you like this garbage.

I also wanted to illustrate the responsible use of money I've exhibited since making the decision to be an adult.


As you can see I have avoided traveling to the designated party areas. The weird thing, and this is no knock on the party-goers out there, is that I know I had more fun with the people I was with then I would have had otherwise. I always feel like such a party pooper around everyone else.

On a totally unrelated note I've discovered the joy of referencing previous blog entries. I am trying to be less introspective in my blog, or at least selectively introspective, so it's nice that I can throw in these links so that the person seeking more insight into my thoughts may find it.

Anyway, this post isn't as good as I thought it would be, I'm super tired and I got other stuff on my mind. Other stuff that I would like to blog about, but not quite yet. That means something good is coming, at least if you are interested in my happenings. Either way, all of you have a Happy New Year.