Monday, January 27, 2003

If I had a hammer
I'd hammer in the morning
I'd hammer in the evening ... all over this land,
I'd hammer out danger
I'd hammer out a warning
I'd hammer out love between all of my brothers and my sisters
All over this land.

If I had a strap wrench
I'd turn off the water
The water that's leaking... all over my floor,
I'd clean up the basement
I'd clean up the walls
I'd clean up all the shit that's left by my brothers
All over my floor.

Back when I was little my mother used to complain of my ineptness and accuse me of not being able to turn off the water if the house started to flood. Showed her.

My friends are awesome. I have the privelage of being the second in a chain of starting a rumor that quickly spred through the entire school. www.cnn.com/reports/2003/WORLD/0194/2227386.html was sent to me by a very good friend who claims to have started it, although he also mentioned that he got the idea from another school. Still, I think that is an accomplishment, and not only am I proud of him, I get to lay claim to the single greatest contributor to spreeding this rumor.

I should mention that this was created using the CNN Fake News Generator. What is interesting though, is that within 10 minutes the rumor came full circle, when someone tried to tell me about it. Then when one of the sororities got ahold of it, one of there members sent an email to thier chapter, making an emphatic push to make these girls members. Those girls making fools of themselves, that is what did it for me.

  Sunday, January 26, 2003

My mom and dad (Lily and Jeff (Not my real mom and dad, but I call them that (Do paranthesis have an associative property))) got engaged this weekend. They came up to my room to tell me about it, but then just kind of stood there, they only mentioned it after I made a reference to my ex-girlfriend. Anyway, I couldn't be happier, and even better (well not better but it makes me sound goofy if I say that) mom suggested that I try extreem sleeping. Basically since there is a four foot gap in my loft where you climb up, she suggested I span the bed over the gap and sleep on it. I will try this.

  Saturday, January 25, 2003

I'd have to say that based on experiences so far, this weekend was a pretty good one. I wanted to get ahead on homework to keep next weekend free. Instead I played basketball and watched foreign films. By play basketball I mean made a fool out of myself. It wasn't that bad except I sucked, but it was fun. Oh, and by watch foreign films, I mean I saw Mexican porn. It wasn't really porn, but it might have well as been. It was entilted Y Tu Mama Tambien and it involved about eighteen too many penises for my liking. It was different though, and I'm glad I watched it. Culture, as everyone knows, is something I'm not too high on, so it was good to get a bit of it.

Went with some other Pikes to clean up the highway this morning. We found some pretty good stuff. I have a little sign that says, "THIS STAND HERE BY PERMISSION OF WAYNE SWITZER." Even better then that, Noah found a licended placed with a Confederate Flag background and the word "REDNECK" printed on it real big. The best though, for some unknown reason, Stu randomly blurted out this during the middle of picking up garbage:

"True or False: The 'roach clip' was named after George Washington?"

I have no idea where he got it from, but it definately made my day.

Chalk one up to Rory's good sense...

Jim stumbled into my room at about 10:00 last night and asked if we had a thermometer. After searching the house and trying to convince him to stay in his room, I finally find one and took his temperature. It read 102, which it had evidently been at for the past three days. I told him to lay down and if he still feels crappy in a couple hours we would go to the hospital.

I got curious though, so I tried the thermometer on myself. I got 92. So at this point I'm thinking that one of us needs to go to the hospital. I tried it a few more times and couldn't get over 97. After testing it out on another individual and getting a low value, I went up to Jim's room and told him to get ready to go.

Upon arrival at the hospital, Jim promptly had the worst ten minutes of his fever, involving quite a few things that I would rather not describe. After getting his temperature down from 103 to 99, the doctors made us wait there until they finished some tests; this took until 3 AM.

The only reason this is really notable though, is because somehow, I feel like I made a good decision under pressure. I don't know, maybe it was common sense, but I felt good about it.

  Friday, January 24, 2003

Both ex-girlfriends are in the news today. Meghann (1) discovered a pretty cool website and put it on her IM profile. Its the I Can't Believe It's Not The Advertising Slogan Generator. Here are some of my favorites:

Absolut Bitches.
Behold the Power of Bitches.
Come One, Come All To Bitches.
Making Bitches Taste Better.
Cleans Right Round The Bitches.
The Bitches that Smiles Back.

Can you see a theme here? Anyway, its also Meghanns 21st birthday this Sunday, maybe I'll tell her happy birthday.

My other ex-girlfriend, Megan (2) is evidently engaged. I noticed a reference to a fiancee on her away message, but I have been scared to talk to her about it. If it's true, and it probably is, then it kind of makes me feel a little wierd. Nothing about what could of been or anything, in fact I am very happy for her and will tell her that once I grow a pair, but its more just this sort of ackward feeling about being old. If I did have a girlfriend for the last two years would I be ready for that? If so how would I involve the other people that are close to me? I don't need to think about these things, but I guess that's just how I describe the ackward feeling I have gotten. Since discovering this I have gotten over it, but I don't know, it just kind of lingers with me.

  Saturday, January 18, 2003

The unthinkable has happened. Massive Gamecubing over the last week has caused me to work more efficiently during my small amounts of allotted working time. The adverse side effects were not too severe: all my homework got done, and I remained on the ball concerning other priorities; however, I was rapidly destroying my will to socialize.

With more then a week to its service, the Gamecube has gotten boring. I still play it a significant amount, but nowhere near the length of time my friends spend on it. The odd thing is that I have filled my time not playing games with doing work. Did I mention that I am doing work more efficiently? Basically, I am finished with my homework for Monday and its currently early Saturday morning. I also ran errands on Friday that I have been putting off for years. I even redecorated my room slightly.

I do not expect things to remain this way. Lets just say that I'm most likely in a state of flux until I reach equilibrium again after the Gamecube totally disrupted the old state of things. Even so, this experience has taught me things about applying myself and having focus, so it has been quite beneficial. My only hope is that before this weekend is over I will have reincorporated socialization into my personal equilibrium.

  Monday, January 13, 2003

My friend Jenna can summarize my feelings last night with one word:

Muddyjenna: suck

Stupid Steelers. They disappoint me. I had to put my Terrible Towel back into its box today and found solace by playing a lot of Gamecube.

  Friday, January 10, 2003

I threw caution to the wind yesterday, as well as rational and good sense, and purchased myself a Nintendo Gamecube. I could here my GPA dropping.

  Friday, January 03, 2003

It's been one week now since I got my bottom two wisdom teeth pulled. I was all psyched about it before it happened. I thought I would get all wacked up from the stuff they use to put me out, and from my limited experiences, me being wacked up is pretty funny stuff. Now I don't remember anything after the surgery until I was back home, but according to my step-mom I stayed on track. When I first woke up, the nurse asked me if I was alright; I replied with, "Did I say anything cool?" I then tried to run out of the dentist office without letting the rest of my body catch up to my feet. I spent the car ride home trying to look at my newly created holes, and I asked my dad to tell me a story. I most proud of the story part.

Whoa! I'm famous. Thanks Buck.

  Wednesday, January 01, 2003

An interesting New Years celebration has caused me to reflect on last year and how my actions and beliefs have affected life and events I find myself in.

Hey... hey! Rory, you've spent the last five months ignoring me, you can listen to me now.

Who are you and what are you doing on my blog?

I'm you stupid, or at least what you used to be. All the illogical, nervous, awkward things you used to do to get attention or to make yourself comfortable with yourself: that's me.

I got rid of you a long time ago, and everything's been great. I've been the happiest person I've ever been. Why are you even here?

You are lame, that's why. That interesting person we were is gone! Plus there is one thing that we want that we will never get if you stay this way: our precious.

Alright, I see where this is going. Listen, I know what you're talking about, and it's your stupid attitude that got us into all those overstuffed problems. You think too much too often. I decided that I needed to be focused on the things that are important and so I tuned you out. I've been better ever since.

Whoa... there are so many things wrong with your opinion. First of all I know what you may think 'our precious' is, but it's really just a metaphor for all the things we used to find important; that ranges anywhere from being active in a club to chasing the girl of your dreams...

Hey, I'm just lying off the girls until I finish this Vice-President thing.

I'll get started on that later, to continue: Secondly, I wasn't the one thinking too much; I just came up with the ideas, you were the one that thought about them. About this whole focus thing, maybe that's good if I'm giving you tons of ideas, but you shunned me out and you are getting too narrow sighted. If you need proof of that, just try explaining to me how the job search is going.

Okay, granted. Maybe I have been a little acute, and I have gotten the feeling that I haven't been as exciting as I may used to be, but I got this blog going...

Nobody even knows about your blog!

... I got this blog going and I'm always on the lookout for those interesting situations.

You can find those interesting situations real easy if you just let me look for them.

Well if I let you start doing stuff then I have to deal with your lack of confidence.

I'm just as confident as you are; the problem was we just disagreed all the time. If you want to work together then we need to work on our communication.

That's a great idea; I'll just talk to myself all the time. I've been through that before, I'm not letting you drive me crazy. It also sounds like you want me to do a lot of thinking, and I've spent too much time over the last three years trying to do that less to go back now.

You dipshit! We are good at thinking, it's what we do, and it's who we are. We had a three hour conversation with Carolyn over the summer about this very thing and she agreed with us. The only problem was you thought about the frivolous things, but even then you were just bettering our efficiency and gaining experience. Dude, let me put it this way: if you want to support our family, if you want to be with the girl of our dreams, if you want to be interesting again, if you want to live out our dreams, if you truly want to start down the path of being the best us possible, if you want 'our precious,' then you will let me help you.

I can't argue with you when you're right, but let's lay some ground rules. The 'no bitches' policy remains in effect until I'm done with the VP, and I don't want you offering me up ideas if we are working on something important.

I'm not sure I understand that last one.

Basically, don't make our attention span any worse then it is, and the only other thing is that I don't want you to dwell on anything.

I can agree to those, but you have to do something as well. In case you have forgotten about the Rory Rules to Life, let me refresh your memory:

1) Blame yourself for failure.
2) Credit others for success.
3) Never say "I can't."
4) Do something if you will regret not doing it.
5) Always remember that you are unique.
6) Don't judge people.
7) You are no better then anyone else.
8) All Rules have exceptions

I want you to use these every once in a while.

Hey you added that last one.

I've done a lot of things in the five months I've had off. You have one month to reincorporate all my knowledge into our actions; if we are going to do this we are going to do it right, and in time to take advantage of the opportunities that will begin to present themselves.

This is going to work, anything we should begin to note?

Well, you might want to explain the reference to The Lord of the Rings and Tom is going to be pissed because we ripped off his style.

Whatever, I shouldn't have to point out to anybody that this entire conversation mimics Gollum's soliloquy; in fact you will probably end up using the words "our precious" again sometime. As far as Tom goes, that Canadian goon is going to be gone in a couple months, and he wants us to make this blog better more then anybody else does.

Well, whatever he is doing, be nice to him. We are going to need that guy.